On the surface, you may think your desire for union is pure and that you just want to be loved, respected, cherished, have companionship, shared values, and all the other things.

But through diving a little deeper into the hearts and minds of women, I've often found that she was actually wanting something a man and union with him could NEVER give her.

What do I mean?

Well, for instance, she is secretly believing that this relationship can give her self love, grant her self respect, gift her validation, eliminate an emptiness, prove that she’s lovable, eradicate a deep sadness or loneliness within her, eliminate the feeling that she should be further in her life...

or anything else that can only truly be given to her by herself.

The truth is, union with a man can NOT give you any of the things I mentioned or anything of that nature. It must be self sourced.

And deep down, you are wanting to figure it out for yourself and source it for yourself.

Desiring a union with this kind of false fuel behind it, will have it keep escaping you.

This is because although you’ve convinced yourself that you’re looking for union… your being is really wanting and craving something else.

It’s like going to a hen, claiming you want an egg, but secretly expecting it to produce a watermelon.

It won’t happen.

You need to get that watermelon from elsewhere.

And quite frankly, all the hens would also be running away from you, too.

No hen. No egg. No watermelon.

It’s the same thing with love, union, and men.

In reality, you’re using your desire for union to mask what you really want to figure out, address head on, and give to yourself.

This is not to say that you actually DON’T desire union.

But here's the thing: You actually want something else MORE than you want union. You just believe that union can give it to you, when in truth, only you have the ability to provide it for yourself.

If you’re wondering what that something might be for you, consider again my previous examples: Validation, elimination of a deep sadness, proof that you’re lovable, etc.

So, how exactly do you stop your desired union from escaping you?

You must desire it purely.

This means desiring the union for what it actually can produce.

You must work through and separate whatever you think union can give you from what the union can actually give you and learn how to truly WANT union from a pure place.

A pure desire fulfills itself. (A big reason for this is because you’re not trying to squeeze a huge, deep emotional need out out of it so you can be delightfully detached and in a state of freedom).

When you learn how to want what you want from a pure place, your desire for the expansive union will be realized.

It will stop eluding you and naturally ease into your life.

But first, you must actually desire union for what it can actually add to your life, NOT for the fantasy you believe it will give you.

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