Many women exhibit a common behavior that, in my observation, is doing them a significant disservice. It acts as a blind-spot where so many actions, beliefs, etc fly under the radar and thus can never be confronted or resolved.

This blind spot is what separates these women from experiencing deep and lasting love and keeps them stuck in repetitive patterns with different men.

To clarify, this discussion is aimed at women who often find themselves in relationships where men consistently pull away from them.

By "pull away," I mean that initially, a man shows strong interest, you get excited and really start to like him, yet over time, you feel the need to make extensive efforts just to maintain his attention.

If you frequently encounter this situation, this article is specifically addressing your experience.

When delving into the mindset of these women, I've identified a crucial lesson they tend to overlook, which perpetuates their challenges.

Here is the lesson: Experience a man’s heart fully and let him step up for you, care for you, and show you who he is BEFORE you fall for him.

When I convey this message to the collective, lots of women receive it and take heed. However, some women misinterpret this advice and react defensively, assuming that I'm telling them to “play hard to get”, to make a man “chase them”, or to “deny how they really feel”.

They often justify their behavior by saying, "I just love too hard; it's just who I am, and the right man should accept me as I am."

When I’m met with this reaction from a woman, I can immediately see where her blind spot is.

Her unwillingness to observe the actions that she believes are a result of her “just loving too hard” is her blind spot.

She made “loving too hard” her identity and because she is passing her actions off under the scope of just “loving” a man, she perceives her actions as being harmless, innocent, and not needing correction.

When she believes all her actions are out of “love” and she herself is someone who just “loves too hard”, she believes she can do no wrong… and when something does happen it’s either the man’s fault or it just “is what it is”.

She refuses to observe how her actions contributed to the issues at hand and thus refuses to shoulder any accountability at all.

And this here lies the issue that needs to be properly unpacked…

What you’re letting fly under the radar

Your unwillingness to examine the actions and characteristics that you believe are a result of you “just loving too hard” is your blind spot. It's where all the actions that need to be corrected fly under the radar because you're passing them off as "love" when in reality, these actions going uncorrected is exactly why you don't have the love you want…

You may be wondering what are the actions/characteristics I’m speaking about that are flying under the radar?

Here’s just a few

• Clingy-ness

• Your need to be in control

• Forcing the man’s hand

• Your lack of self worth

• Who you really are versus who you think you are

Let’s break down each one.

Clingy-ness

If you find yourself falling deeply for a man without allowing him the opportunity to reveal his heart and who he is, step up in the relationship, care for you, or take significant steps towards you, it indicates a tendency toward clingy-ness.

By "clingy," I mean becoming emotionally attached to a man prematurely.

Clingy-ness is off-putting for several reasons, but the most crucial one to discuss is that it fails to acknowledge or accept the other person. In essence, being clingy repels because it prevents you from truly getting to know and experience the other person. You become "head over heels" for them without good reason.

This behavior can make the other person feel invisible, even if they are not consciously aware of it.

This is why falling for a man prematurely (clingy-ness) needs to be corrected.

The truth is, you cannot genuinely love a man in such circumstances because you don't truly know him. You haven't gathered enough information about him to genuinely love him. You've denied yourself the opportunity to develop deep love because you haven't allowed him to reveal his true self.

Often, a woman who attributes her behavior to "loving too hard" tends to overlook her clingy tendencies, dismissing them as mere acts of love when, in reality, they are far from loving.

Do you see the significant harm this can cause in a relationship?

Your need to control

Besides clingy-ness, another aspect that often goes unnoticed is a woman's inclination to exert control. In the context of a woman dating a man who is pulling away, a common reaction is for her to become exceedingly proactive in seeking his attention. She may try to prompt him to text or call her, take the initiative in planning dates, and even schedule their time together. In her effort to regain his full attention, she resorts to tactics that border on forcing the man's hand and imposing herself on him.

When these actions are chalked up to "just loving too intensely," the critical error they represent often remains hidden. This error lies in the fact that she is exhibiting controlling behavior and attempting to coerce the man into actions he may not genuinely desire.

This is not harmless behavior.

Your lack of self worth

Another aspect that often goes unnoticed is a woman's struggle with her self-worth.

When she finds it challenging to accept the idea that a man may genuinely take pleasure in stepping up for her, caring for her, and making authentic efforts to connect without interpreting it as him "chasing" her or her "playing hard to get," it is indicative of underlying self-esteem issues.

This diminished sense of self-worth remains hidden beneath the surface, particularly when the woman attributes her actions to pure "love" and convinces herself that she is merely being authentic.

In this process, she may not allow a man to take initiative, care for her, or make significant advances because she is too busy being extremely forward.

This lack of self-worth can have a profoundly disruptive impact on a woman's love life, causing turmoil and complications. However, the first step toward addressing this issue is recognizing it for what it truly is; a lack of self worth.

Who you really are

Lastly, a significant aspect that often eludes detection is who the woman actually is. She might frequently assert that her behaviors stem from just "loving too hard" and genuinely believes that this is her true nature, expecting a man to love her for it.

However, the truth lies elsewhere.

In reality, a woman who doesn't allow a man to take significant steps toward her, becomes prematurely attached without truly knowing him, exerts control over a man, and struggles with low self-worth, is operating outside the realm of her true self.

The evidence of this incongruity is visible in the pain and discomfort her love life often entails. If she were truly being herself, her love life would likely feel more natural and harmonious. This isn't to say that challenges wouldn't arise, but she wouldn't be caught in repetitive patterns as frequently.

These recurring patterns signal a misalignment in her approach to love.

When a woman stops attributing her actions solely to "love" and ceases to hide behind the belief that she just "loves too hard," she can gain clarity on the actions and thought patterns that require correction, enabling her to attain the love she genuinely desires.

I hope this served you.

—

Join my Membership

If this post nourished you in any way, I invite you to become a member of the Deep Love, Great Work Association.

Work with me inside of the Deep Love Great Work Association; the private membership community you want to be in to position yourself for the love that matches your depth and to be successful doing the work that matches your greatness. In this offer, we explore the deeper perspectives, the mindset, the values, the priorities, and the principles that you need to build a proper foundation of which deep love is a natural byproduct.

We also discuss how these same principles, values, and mindset/perspective shifts help you align with your PURPOSE, be yourself, and do your greatest work. You can join here if that interests you.