I'm composing this in response to a comment from a woman on one of my social media posts. She expressed frustration with my tendency to dissect things in detail, suggesting that no relationship is flawless and implying that we should simply allow issues to linger, I guess.

It’s safe to say that I have no idea why this woman still follows me if she doesn’t like my content—

But anyway, I want to address this head on because there are important insights that I want to share about this topic.

We should never eliminate the ideal

Many people often claim that relationships aren't perfect, but I believe this can sometimes be a convenient excuse.

We shouldn't discard the idea of an ideal union and connection just because imperfections exist. In fact, the ideal should remain our goal—a target to strive for and grow toward. When we abandon this ideal, we inadvertently introduce stagnation, mediocrity, and eventually, the demise of the relationship.

Our vision of an ideal relationship should include a continuous improvement, a journey towards becoming better and better. Even when two imperfect individuals come together, their relationship can evolve, becoming increasingly beautiful, profound, and filled with love, connections, and all the wonderful aspects we desire, as long as they continue to invest in it.

Chanting that “relationships aren’t perfect” is often a cop out

Saying that relationships aren't perfect can sometimes be a way to justify complacency, to stop putting effort into growth, and to opt for comfort over progress. But this mindset can be the start of a downward spiral. Choosing mediocrity just because relationships have flaws is shortsighted.

People often do this because they prefer feeling right and comfortable rather than pouring themselves into the relationship, making corrections and deepening their love.

In relationships, we have a choice: Do we prioritize being right and comfortable, or do we prioritize deepening our connection with the person that we love?

For me and the women who resonate with my work, we want to explore how extraordinary our relationships, marriages, and unions can become, recognizing that they have the potential to continuously improve.

Every problem has a solution

When people claim that relationships aren't perfect, they are often referring to a specific issue or problem that they want to avoid.

However, it's essential to remember that every problem has a solution. So why endure the same problem repeatedly when a solution is within reach? This is why I assert that using the "relationships aren't perfect" mantra can sometimes be an excuse to remain comfortable and avoid addressing underlying issues.

Continually encountering the same problem without seeking resolution isn't normal, nor is it productive. It's akin to giving up on the relationship's ideal and settling for stagnation.

That's not an acceptable choice.

Why I dissect everything

People often wonder why I dissect everything in relationships. The truth is that it's the subtle, often unnoticed issues that require correction. These seemingly unimportant matters can snowball into significant problems when left unaddressed. Major relationship issues typically stem from the neglect or misperception of these subtle issues.

That's why I emphasize dissection; it's necessary for uncovering and addressing these subtle but impactful concerns. When both parties aren't satisfied, problems tend to resurface. So, if you say you don't have time to dissect things in your relationship, be prepared to face the same issues over and over again.

I dissect. I reframe. And I correct.

I do this because I believe in the importance of resolving these subtle issues.

This approach may not be for everyone, as it can be demanding and may challenge those who are accustomed to complacency and accepting mediocrity. However, the women I support recognize that a deeper, more fulfilling level of love is attainable. To achieve this, they need the right perspective, which can only be discovered through careful dissection and the subsequent correction of key aspects.

Once this process is complete, they can unlock the breakthroughs they're on the brink of experiencing. That's why we find these dissections invaluable, as they enhance the love we already cherish in our lives.

The ideal VS imperfect individuals

A significant question that often arises after considering the points I've discussed above is: How do you strike a balance between pursuing an ideal relationship while accepting the imperfections that come with two imperfect individuals?

The answer is clear: you hold space for both.

First and foremost, it involves accepting each other's humanity and understanding that smooth sailing isn't a constant in any relationship. This means allowing space for processing thoughts and emotions, fostering open discussions, shifting your focus from judgment to understanding each other's intentions, recognizing sincere efforts, and expressing appreciation instead of shame.

On the flip side, it's essential to emphasize that you shouldn't give up on resolving an issue until both parties are satisfied and feel understood. Moreover, always keep in mind that there's another level of connection waiting to be experienced, and it's a choice you both must actively make.

This brings us back to the notion that those who claim relationships aren't perfect are simply using it as an excuse to remain in their comfort zones.

It ultimately boils down to a decision: Do you want to be right and comfortable, or do you want to deepen your connection with the one you love?

You can't have both. While discomfort is part of the process, would you prefer to settle for a mediocre and comfortable relationship?

This is a choice many people make, but it's worth questioning.

How does one pour themselves into the relationship?

Now, let's address another question that may come up: What does it mean to "pour yourself into the relationship"?

It's quite simple – it means giving your all, not doing things half-heartedly, and not withholding your energy from the relationship.

It's about not using the excuse of not having enough time to address issues, which, when you think about it, is rather illogical and counterproductive.

Again, if you don't make time to work through problems now, you'll likely continue dealing with them indefinitely.

Pouring yourself into the relationship entails full commitment, choosing growth and improvement every time, and understanding that the responsibility to choose lies with you.

What exactly is the ideal in a relationship?

Lastly, let's explore the concept of the "ideal" in a relationship that I've been discussing.

The ideal is essentially a living, breathing standard. As your relationship deepens, this standard evolves with it. It acknowledges that there's always another level to aspire to, a deeper connection to forge, more profound depths to explore, and greater beauty to uncover.

The standard keeps shifting and expanding, much like the horizon – you'll never quite reach its end. However, eliminating the standard equates to the beginning of the end, where there's no room for improvement or growth.

Understanding that there's always another level to reach and an endless journey of unfolding is a vital aspect of life.

For those who resonate with my perspective, we acknowledge that there's always more to experience and explore. We want to see just how incredible a relationship can become, continually striving to discover the depths of connection and love.

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