I typically refrain from writing about what women should avoid in their love lives because I prefer to focus on what they should aspire to. However, I felt compelled to create this piece because I believe it's a valuable addition to my body of work on deep love.

I consider it important because, in my continuous discussions about deep love, it's essential to be transparent about the foundations that will NEVER contribute to deep love.

I aim to cover all the critical aspects as efficiently as possible.

I'm aware that some women who have approached me were in relationships with men that didn't work out and exhibited the traits I'll be describing. This piece can help them release any feelings of shame about the relationship not working out.

So to preface the deep dive we’re about to do, I want to come straight out and say:

Being with a man who is unhappy with his life or himself, who blames the world for his shortcomings, who perpetually adopts a victim mentality, harbors regrets, crumbles in the face of adversity, and constantly throws in your face what he's doing or has done for you is a death sentence. There's no opportunity for a fulfilling life with him when such dynamics are at play.

Be with the man that:

Is content with his life, embraces who he is, expresses gratitude for his blessings, holds a vision, and actively strives to attain it

The man who is content with his life doesn’t spend his time trying to escape it. Building a life with a man who isn’t happy with himself or his life is volatile. It’s like building a house on the sand. It’s only a matter of time until that house collapses because it’s not on a solid foundation.

He’ll be looking for whatever stimuli to take him away from the life he chose for himself. This man is dis-empowered and will usually become withdrawn.

A woman who is in this relationship with a man should consider distancing herself from this man and letting him figure stuff out on his own.

On the other hand, a man who is content with his life is usually fully present with you, his children, and the life you’ve built together. He expresses genuine appreciation for what he has.

He also has a vision for the future and puts energy and resources into it, looking positively toward the future he’s contributing to.

Who takes accountability and responsibility for himself AND understands his own autonomy

Men who recognize that their life is a product of their own choices tend to efficiently shoulder accountability and responsibility for themselves. This self-awareness is empowering, as it places their life squarely in their own hands, making them more enjoyable companions and partners for building a life together.

Conversely, a man who habitually shifts blame to external factors for his shortcomings perpetually disempowers himself through his own actions. At times, he may even develop resentment toward those closest to him, believing they are "holding him back."

Such a man can be challenging to be with, as he might harbor misplaced anger and resentment without understanding that he has the power to choose a more fulfilling existence after taking personal responsibility.

Until he grasps this concept, he remains in a helpless state, with the ability to regain control over his life resting solely in his hands.

Women in relationships with such men should refrain from attempting to solve his issues for them.

These issues are theirs to confront independently. While offering support is valuable, maintaining clear boundaries is crucial. This helps prevent the negative energy from affecting her and ensures that she isn't blamed for things beyond her control.

Who knows how to MOVE out of struggle, find a solution, and get himself into a better place

Men who crumble in the face of adversity and lack the skills to navigate challenges often find themselves stagnant, stuck, and miserable. Such a man can become challenging to be with because he may redirect his frustration, anger, and resentment towards those closest to him, all while operating from a disempowered state.

In a relationship with this type of man, some women make the mistake of attempting to solve his problems or coach him through them.

However, this approach tends to backfire, as it can leave him feeling EVEN MORE emasculated, inadequate, and ineffective. It's essential to recognize that it's his journey to navigate, and he should be allowed to figure it out on his own.

On the other hand, a man who possesses the ability to effectively navigate adversity tends to feel more empowered and accomplished. Challenges become opportunities for growth, making him a joy to be around and a valuable partner in building a life together.

Who has made peace with his past

Men who romanticize the past or are burdened by numerous regrets about their past actions or inactions often find themselves trying to escape their current lives by attempting to recreate the past.

Building a life with such a man can be challenging, as he may rarely be present in the here and now and may lack a clear vision for the future. His focus tends to be on regressing rather than progressing.

Women who are in relationships with men exhibiting these tendencies should consider creating some distance from such men and avoid getting entangled in their obsession with revisiting the past.

Conversely, men who have come to terms with their past and made peace with it are more likely to be fully present in the current moment and have a positive outlook on the future they are actively building.

They tend to prioritize personal growth and expansion, making them highly suitable partners for building a fulfilling life together.

Who takes pride in caring for you and your shared family

Finally, men who continually remind you of all the things they've done for you are often trapped in a disempowered state, characterized by a victim mentality and underlying resentment. They may believe that since life has been challenging for them, anything they do for you should be viewed as a sacrifice that you owe them for in return.

This kind of man may find it draining to care for the woman he claims to love and his children, and he may perceive it as holding him back. In such a relationship, the best course of action for a woman may be to leave, as it is unlikely to lead to a fulfilling life.

On the other hand, men who take pride in caring for the woman they love and their children do so willingly and joyfully. This doesn't mean it's devoid of challenges, exhaustion, or occasional frustration, but it aligns with the kind of man they aspire to be.

They find deep fulfillment in fulfilling these responsibilities efficiently and are genuinely appreciated for their efforts.

In summary, choose a man who finds contentment in his life and self, expresses gratitude, envisions a promising future, holds himself accountable, adeptly navigates challenges, has reconciled with his past, and embraces the role of caring for both you and your family.

This a man you can build a something beautiful with.

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Work with me inside of the Deep Love Great Work Association; the private membership community you want to be in to position yourself for the love that matches your depth and to be successful doing the work that matches your greatness. In this offer, we explore the deeper perspectives, the mindset, the values, the priorities, and the principles that you need to build a proper foundation of which deep love is a natural byproduct.

We also discuss how these same principles, values, and mindset/perspective shifts help you align with your PURPOSE, be yourself, and do your greatest work. You can join here if that interests you.