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Women often end up supporting a man instead of being provided for because she placed her value in her earnings instead of understanding what truly makes her valuable to the right man.

February 24, 20238 min read

I’ve already written dozens of posts about the importance of understanding the value that you have and being able to articulate it in your own words, in a way that makes sense to you.

The reason why this is so important is because, among many other things, it keeps you from behaving like you have low self worth.

What I mean by this is that it stops you from thinking that a man is going to leave you at any second, not feeling like you deserve any better, thinking that men just want to sleep with you, and the list goes on and on.

I’ve covered all of these topics at some point so be sure to binge my posts if you’re interested in any other topic specifically, however, in this post I want to speak about WHY you may find yourself taking care of a man even though you want to be provided for.

I want to come at this from the angle that you already have a moderate to high sense of worth. After all, most of the women that gravitate to me have at least a moderate sense of worth.

So then the question becomes; Why would a woman with high self worth who wants to be provided for end up taking care of a man instead?

The answer is that where she placed her value/worth does NOT align with what she desires.

What do I mean by this?

I mean that I work with professional women who are quite successful at what they do and earn well because of it. Success feels good and is a beautiful thing and is something to be proud of.

However, it becomes problematic if you place all your value solely on your earnings, particularly in terms of your overall worth and what you bring to a man's life.

If you desire a partner who provides for you and when asked what you bring to his life, you struggle to come up with anything beyond your income, then there is a problem.

You are out of alignment with what really makes you valuable and thus you are attracting the wrong men for the wrong reasons.

You are thinking you are valuable because you are successful and earn well and thus are attracting men that are looking to exploit that.

To clarify, this issue is not about a woman having low self-worth in the traditional sense.

It is more about having a feminine value problem where a woman struggles to identify what a man who wants to provide for her finds valuable about her and how she can contribute to his life.

Not being able to articulate this may not sound like a big deal but understand in general, when someone can’t articulate something, it’s like it almost doesn’t exist or it’s very elusive.

Unless you can articulate for yourself (in words that you understand) what value you can add to your ideal man's life, it is impossible to see things clearly, make good choices when it comes to who to entertain, and you can fall into taking care of a man even though that’s not what you want at all.

The solution here is to fully understand and be able to articulate what makes you valuable and what you can contribute to your ideal man's life that is OUTSIDE of your earnings.

So, let’s speak about how you can get clear on your feminine value.

The first step is to identify what you desire in a relationship. I find that often women play small about what they desire and limit it to only a little better than what they’ve experienced before.

I urge my clients to desire more elevated love; 10 times better than what they’ve ever experienced. Truly I want her to experience the highest quality of love that is available to her.

My clients are then encouraged to write down what she desires in a short, concise list once she is clear on what she wants.

Now, let’s focus on you.

What do you want? You must first get clear on this.

As an example, let’s say you want a union where:

- You’re showered with his masculine provision and you thankfully receive it.

- There’s a strong emotional connection with your partner that allows for vulnerability, trust, and openness.

- There’s a mutual understanding and appreciation for each other's boundaries, needs, and values.

- You can be there for each other through good times and bad, and offering encouragement and understanding.

- You are able to openly and honestly communicate with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs to ensure that there’s trust and understanding in the relationship.

The next thing we want to do is look at the list and, one by one, break each point into two lists: his and her roles.

We check to see what role would the man have to play to make that specific desire a reality and more importantly, what role would YOU have to play to make that desire a reality.

For example, let’s use: You’re showered with his masculine provision and you thankfully receive it.

We’d break that point of desire into the 2 roles that would make that desire a reality.

His roles could look something like:

- Supportive; he always finds a way to support me

- Generous: he is a giver and enjoys giving to me

- Protective; he prioritizes my safety and well being

And so your roles would look something like:

- Receptive to his provision

-Fully trusts him and respects his decisions

- Has a thankful heart, fully appreciates him, and expresses this to him

- Supportive of him in all the ways he needs and wants

- Empathetic and forgiving

After that, we make sure that the two roles are actually capable of creating the desired reality.

You have to be a bit intuitive here but simply ask yourself: If I played all these roles and he played his, could we, for example, have a union where I am showered with his masculine provision and I am able to thankfully receive it?

If the answer is yes, great. If it is ‘no’, change things around until you get a yes.

When everything looks good, we examine the list of roles and begin to see which roles from the ‘hers’ list you actively play and which roles you do not.

Of the roles you play, you can see just how much value you have and how much you can contribute to a beautiful union with the type of man you desire.

To your ideal man, how valuable is a woman who is receptive to his provision? How valuable is a woman who fully trusts him and respects his decisions?

How valuable is a woman who has a thankful heart, fully appreciates him, and expresses this to him?

How valuable is a woman who is supportive of him in all the ways he needs and wants? How valuable is a woman that tries to feel as he feels and truly forgives him when he makes mistakes?

If a woman is fully embodying all of these lovely, human qualities… How is she not valuable? How could the right man not be in love with doing life with her?

And this only scratches the surface of all the value you have and just by understanding the roles you already play, you have a beautiful sense of how valuable you are to the right man.

And for the roles you don't play, you now have a clear roadmap of what you need to play.

Clearly understanding your feminine value allows you to feel confident in your ability to have better and to stop being afraid to let go of what and who doesn’t match that.

When this happens, you no longer end up “taking care” of a man and can enjoy the masculine provision your ideal man showers you with.

This puts you directly on the path of elevated union. This is where you belong.

If what you’ve read here resonates with you and you’d like to work with me further, consider my 12 week mentorship program.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine value is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on:

1. increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

2. feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards

3. attracting experiences with men that match your standards

4. identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love

5. resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

6. and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment.

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

And if you liked what you've read here, consider signing up for my newsletter

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Dream (Silas) Omans

Dream Silas Omans is a wife, writer, and mentor/coach specializing in guiding women toward fulfilling romantic connections and relationships/marriage with men. Dream's blog provides guidance for women seeking fulfilling romantic connections and relationships/marriage with men. It covers topics such as personal growth, empowerment in love, relationship dynamics, and practical skills for finding and nurturing healthy relationships. Dream offers practical advice and mentorship programs, including her flagship program "IRL: Better Than Fantasy," aimed at empowering single women to go FROM single and hoping for her turn to get lucky in love TO being claimed, committed to, and and loved well now and in the future by the man she'll love. Through her work, Dream aims to help women navigate the complexities of modern relationships and ultimately experience love, support, and fulfillment.

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Dream is a love and feminine state of being mentor and the creator of the Woman in Union Newsletter, Blog, and Mentorship.

Dream, and her team's mission is to empower and guide professional and entrepreneurial women through a journey of self-discovery, freedom, truth, and profound romantic love, all with God at the forefront. We believe that every woman has a unique femininity that speaks to the truth in her, calling forth the right man to her.

Our work is focused on helping women tap into this femininity, let go of limiting beliefs and patterns, cultivate a sense of confidence and inner strength and embrace the truth of who they are, ultimately creating a softer life and experiencing divine union with the man who is meant for them.

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