I’m a big fan of affirmations and so are many of the women that work with me.

And for this exact reason I’ve been able to see that affirmations have little to no effect when they don’t “click” with the woman.

I’ve noticed that affirmations work best when you use them as “reminders” rather than statements to try and convince yourself of something that your reality and mind chatter keep telling you is untrue.

If your affirmations of self-love and worthiness of better love make you feel as if you're fighting against reality and aren't making you feel worthy, that's an indication your perception doesn't correspond to what you want.

This means that deep down, for whatever reason, you don’t perceive yourself as the woman who deserves what she is wanting.

The important word here is perceive.

It has nothing to do with if you actually deserve it or not. In fact, the women that work with me deserve everything they desire and much more because they truly are high quality women.

If there is one thing that I see most often of why deep down they feel they don’t deserve it is because they’re not actually sure of what value they have to offer to a man that is outside of how much they earn, their career, education level, their looks, sex, and anything else they possess.

Taking all of those things away, many women are secretly left thinking either “well, what’s left?” or even if they know there is more left, they have a hard time conceptualizing it so that it makes sense in their own head.

Coupling this with the fact that other women in the “femininity space” say things like “I am the table” when the conversation of ‘what do you bring to the table?’ comes up leads to even more confusion and women still secretly feeling like they don’t deserve what they want.

(I wrote a blog post on this some time ago about how that question “what do you bring to the table” is completely irrelevant when you know the feminine value you have. Men no longer even ask that question because it is apparent. And if you are receiving that question, it's because a man can sense that you don’t even know and he’s reflecting that back to you.)

However, I digress from that topic and instead want to share one of the ways I help my clients resolve the issue of feeling unworthy. The key here is to get clear on her feminine value.

To do this, we first must identify what she desires in her love life, then we identify the ‘his and hers’ roles that make up what she wants, and then finally we check off which of the ‘hers’ roles she is playing and which roles she is not. And of the roles she is not playing, she begins to play.

If this sounds confusing, fret not.

I wrote about this process extensively in another post called “Often women are concerned about choosing the wrong man, when in truth, every man you call to yourself is a reflection of your state of being. Being the right woman calls to you the right man.”

But I will also describe the process now in terms of feeling deserving of the love you desire.

The first step is to identify what she desires. I find that often women play small about what they desire and limit it to only a little better than what they’ve experienced before.

I urge them to desire more elevated love; 10 times better than what they’ve ever experienced. Truly I want her to experience the highest quality of love that is available to her.

She is encouraged to write down what she desires in a short, concise list once she is clear on what she wants.

Next we look at the list and one by one, break each point into two lists: his and her roles.

We check to see what role would the man have to play to make that specific desire a reality and more importantly, what role would she have to play to make that desire a reality.

For example, let’s say you desire a man who loves to always take you on nice, thoughtful dates every week:

We’d break that point of desire into 2 roles that would make that desire a reality.

His roles could look something like:

• Actively generous and thoughtful

• Financially can afford that lifestyle

• Finds quality time in that way valuable

• Attentive to your likes and dislikes

And so your roles would look something like:

• Has a thankful heart, is appreciative, and can express gratitude generously

• Can express her desires well

• Values/appreciates quality time and makes time/space for it

• Ability to be present and enjoy herself, him, the atmosphere

• Holds good conversation and is fascinating

From there, we make sure the roles make sense and could actually create the desired reality.

When everything looks good, we examine the list of roles and begin to see which roles from the ‘hers’ list she actively plays and which roles she does not.

(Many of my clients play a number of the roles before working with me, but they do not clearly identify which roles they are playing or how they align with their desires, so they still feel unworthy.)

Once she has identified all the roles she plays (her feminine value) and how it directly matches what she wants, she feels 100% like she deserves what she wants.

And for the roles she doesn’t play, she now has a clear roadmap of what she needs to play and she begins to play them. (I help my clients through how they can play their roles as well yet that is a topic for another post.)

Once a client of mine is clear on her feminine value and how it directly complements what she desires in her love life, it improves her self concept and her perception of what she deserves significantly.

It also kills the feelings of unworthiness and the chatter in her mind asking why she deserves elevated love from a good man.

It makes the need for affirmations dwindle or makes affirmations much more powerful because she believes what she is saying and not trying to convince herself.

Affirmations then serve as “reminders” of how valuable she really is and have a far greater impact on her, her life, and what she can create for herself.

The love you can create for yourself is elevated, thriving, and fulfilling when you actually believe you are who you say you are.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on

• increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

• attracting experiences with men that match your standards

• feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards

• resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

• and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment.This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment.

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment. ($5,555)

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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