I can’t even count how many times I felt like I seriously had to be super exciting or something for a guy to really like me. I remember thinking that I had to come up with clever things to say or do to impress him.

These days, many of my clients express to me that they have the same issue. They feel like they have to do the absolute MOST to impress the guy they’re seeing or even in a commitment with.

Let me just say that these feelings, though common, are totally misplaced and make you think about relationships in a really unhealthy way that doesn’t honor who you are as a woman and even does a disservice to the man you’re with as it undermines his taste in you and his desire to impress YOU.

In my experience and the experience of my clients, men feel much more at home impressing us than we do at trying to impress them. They want to be better for you; to rise for you. So you working hard to impress them simply robs them of that.

In fact, I distinctly remember a guy I was seeing some years ago tell me verbatim “You don’t have to try and impress me. I’m already impressed. I want to impress you.”

That shifted my entire world at the time because for the first time in my life, I felt that I could breathe and just enjoy the man in front of me.

Through this experience, I learned two very important things about “impressing a man”.

I began to understand that the reason why me and a man were even together in the first place was because he felt impressed by me enough to make a move. So, me trying to impress him completely undermines his taste in me.

Secondly, he wants to impress me and he takes pride in being able to impress me.

These are two things I hope you can take from this article.

Now let’s get into WHY you think you have to come up with new and exciting things to do all the time. This is most likely due to the fact that you’re afraid he’ll be unimpressed by you and think you’re boring if you don’t. And the reason why you think like this is because you’re not sure of your worth to him in the relationship; your feminine value.

So yes, it all comes down to you understanding your feminine value.

Feminine value is so important to be clear on because you will never think that a man you’re dating/ committed to will find you boring again.

This is because you’re naturally more in tune with yourself, which allows you to naturally be interesting as well as fascinated with him and life in general.

The pressure of coming up with new and exciting things will be eliminated. By being who you are together, new and exciting things are bound to happen.

So, let’s speak about how you can get clear on your feminine value.

To do this, we first must identify what you desire in your love life, then we identify the ‘his and hers’ roles that make up what you want, and then finally we check off which of the ‘hers’ roles you are playing and which roles you are not. And of the roles you are not playing, you begin to play.

If this sounds confusing, fret not.

The first step is to identify what you desire in a relationship. I find that often women play small about what they desire and limit it to only a little better than what they’ve experienced before.

I urge my clients to desire more elevated love; 10 times better than what they’ve ever experienced. Truly I want her to experience the highest quality of love that is available to her.

My clients are then encouraged to write down what she desires in a short, concise list once she is clear on what she wants.

Now, let’s focus on you. What do you want? You must first get clear on this.

As an example, let’s say you want a union where:

• There’s a strong emotional connection with your partner that allows for vulnerability, trust, and openness.

• There’s a mutual understanding and appreciation for each other's boundaries, needs, and values.

• You can be there for each other through good times and bad, and offering encouragement and understanding.

• You are able to openly and honestly communicate with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs to ensure that there’s trust and understanding in the relationship.

The next thing we want to do is look at the list and, one by one, break each point into two lists: his and her roles.

We check to see what role would the man have to play to make that specific desire a reality and more importantly, what role would YOU have to play to make that desire a reality.

For example, let’s use: There’s a strong emotional connection with my partner that allows for vulnerability, trust, and openness.

We’d break that point of desire into the 2 roles that would make that desire a reality.

His roles could look something like:

• Trustworthy; honest and reliable

• Thoughtful: Considers my feelings and acts accordingly

• He conveys his point eloquently and allows me to express myself

And so your roles would look something like:

• Receptive and attentive

• Can express myself well, be open, and hold space for him

• Values/appreciates quality time and makes time/space for it

• Ability to be present and enjoy herself, him, the atmosphere

• Empathetic and forgiving

After that, we make sure that the two roles are actually capable of creating the desired reality.

When everything looks good, we examine the list of roles and begin to see which roles from the ‘hers’ list you actively play and which roles you do not.

Of the roles you play, you can see just how much value you have and how much you contribute to a beautiful union.

And for the roles you don't play, you now have a clear roadmap of what you need to play.

Once you’re absolutely clear on your feminine value, you never feel like you have to jump through hoops to impress a man again. Instead, you can just be yourself and allow that to be enough. And it WILL always be enough.

If what you’ve read here resonates with you and you’d like to work with me further, consider my 12 week mentorship program.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine value is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on

• increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

• feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards

• attracting experiences with men that match your standards

• identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love

• resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

• and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment.

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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