Something that I find fascinating in the women who choose to work with me is that many of them consider themselves successful, hardworking women who're good at what they do.

This type of identity that they have surrounding who they are in terms of their work/career quite naturally maintains the actions required to keep this identity intact. And because her actions and identity regarding work aligns, it’s comfortable for her and allows her to thrive because it reinforces her behavior. This identity supports her thriving career and work life.

In contrast, her identity surrounding her love life is often lacking, and does not support the mindset she needs to have or the actions she needs to take to succeed in that area as well. She’s often acting, speaking, and behaving from a flawed premise.

Because her identity pertaining to her love life is flawed, she often feels uncomfortable, “out of her element”, and thus avoids it and retreats back to the identity that makes her feel good, which in this case is her work identity. Consequently, she buries herself in her work instead of tending to her love life.

So contrary to popular advice, the solution to stop avoiding your love life and transition to having a thriving, romantic love life is not to just “put yourself out there”. Instead, the solution is to simply shift your identity around who you are in terms of your love life.

In this way, you will gradually adopt the thinking, behavior, and speech of a woman whose love life is fulfilling and flourishing.

So how do you do this?

First and foremost, when I work with women, I look at her identity in terms of her love life and her perspective on the men that were in her life.

This usually tells me what we need to work on and why we need to work on it.

So the first thing you want to do is honestly ask yourself: “In relation to my love life, what do I think of myself?”

Fill in the blank, “In my love life, I’m a woman who/that ______________.

This will reveal to you as clear as day the story (feminine identity) that is holding you back.

If you’re not sure of what you think of yourself in terms of your love life, think about all the statements you usually say about your love life or the men you’ve dated.

In my experience working with women, some of the things they tell me about why they are not “putting themselves out there” sound like the following:

“Even though I do have hope, sometimes I just feel that for some reason, it’s kind of too late for me and that I’ll never find my person”

“I feel discouraged because my relationships never last.”

“I feel that somehow the guy that got away was the one for me and that I won’t find anyone better.”

“I’m never truly attracted to the men who’re attracted to me.”

“The guy that I like never likes me as much as I like him.”

When I hear women say things like this, I immediately begin to extract how they think of themselves in relation to their love life to get a sense of what story (feminine identity) they're operating from.

For example with the statement, “Even though I do have hope, sometimes I just feel that it’s kind of too late for me and that I’ll never find my person”.

I can deduce that this woman feels or has felt a sense of urgency to be in a serious relationship by a certain time and now that that time is either approaching or has passed, she feels discouraged.

So If I were to ask this woman the question, ”In relation to your love life, what do you think of yourself?” and she was honest, succinct, and blunt…

Her feminine identity would read something like: “I’m a woman who has run out of time to have the love I want.”

When we get down to the bare story that she is operating from, her feminine identity, we can see exactly why she’s been putting off dating or tending to her love life. For her, it feels like a losing game. Her feminine identity is preventing her from having an active and thriving love life.

Let’s look at another example.

If I hear a woman make a statement like, “I feel discouraged because my relationships never last.”

I can deduce that this woman, for whatever reason, either doesn’t think of herself as being able to sustain a relationship for a long time or chooses men who aren’t ready for serious commitment.

So If I were to ask this woman the question, ”In relation to your love life, what do you think of yourself?”

Her feminine identity would read something like: “I’m a woman who has short lived relationships.”

With a statement like this, it’s easy to see what’s in the woman’s way of a beautiful love life.

Making the statement this plain and blunt is important to be able to shift the story (feminine identity) you’re operating from and to naturally and gradually adopt the thinking, behavior, and speech of a woman whose love life is fulfilling and flourishing.

So again, the first thing you want to do is create your own statement by asking yourself the following: ”In relation to my love life, what do I think of myself?”

And fill in the blank, “In my love life, I’m a woman who/that ______________.

Once you’re clear on your statement, the next step is to begin to shift it.

I help my clients do this by simply taking their old feminine identity (story) and replacing it with another statement that actually fits what she desires.

As an example, let’s use the statement, “I’m a woman who has run out of time to have the love I want.”

We can turn that statement into “I am a woman who is destined for great, romantic love.”

These two statements are like night and day, but adopting the latter statement will eventually open up new opportunities, thought patterns, behaviors, and habits that were not accessible to the woman before.

Shifting her feminine identity (story) is the first step to having a thriving, beautiful love life.

It should be noted that reframing the story can not be done carelessly, it must actually be reframed into something that actually clicks with the woman.

You can be sure that it clicks when it feels freeing to you.

Once the story clicks, the next step is to begin collecting evidence in support of this new feminine identity.

It does nothing just to change the story (feminine identity) and leave it at that. If this is done, the woman will eventually revert right back to her old story.

That said, she must go into her everyday life and find evidence that her new reframed feminine identity is true.

And at the end of every day, she should write down all the evidence from the day that proved that new identity true.

In other words, her job is to collect any and everything in her life that affirms that she is the woman who is “destined for great love” and write it down at the end of every day.

So your next step after you create a story that clicks with you is to gather all the evidence you can from your daily life that supports your new story.

It is also important to note that your evidence does not have to be current. You can also write down anything that was romantic and made you feel loved in the past. The whole idea is to feed your mind with evidence that you are destined for great, romantic love.

Okay, so let’s go with the example that your new feminine identity is: “I am a woman who is destined for great, romantic love.”

Your evidence could look something like:

• This morning a coworker randomly complimented me and told me “Any guy would be lucky to have you.” I thought this was interesting and it really felt sweet and heartfelt.

• Today I left my gloves at the coffee shop and a man ran two blocks in the cold to give it to me! This was very kind of him and I thought it was quite romantic.

• I remember when I received a very sweet love letter a decade ago. I still remember what it said word for word; it meant a lot to me.

You’d do this exercise every day until you have so much evidence to back up your new identity that you start believing it by default. Due to the compounding evidence, my clients are able to successfully change their identity within a month.

Many of my clients are surprised that they have so much to write down when they begin the exercise but the truth is, what you focus on grows.

What's even better is that when you really believe in the new identity, your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned with your new identity and begin to support the beautiful love life you desire.

If what you’ve read here resonates with you and you’d like to work with me further, consider my 12 week mentorship program!

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine identity is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on

• increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

• feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards

• attracting experiences with men that match your standards

• identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love

• resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

• and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment

This mentorship is $5,555 USD.

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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