This is a topic that I’ve wanted to talk about for a while now simply because it affects so many of the women that I work with.

They come to me with a negative stigma around being divorced and having kids from their previous marriage. They are afraid that this makes them quite unworthy and that they should be thankful for whatever they can get.

I’m not a big fan of selling women limitations especially when it comes to things they can not change. This makes no sense to me and I side eye others who do it because it is discouraging and oftentimes it is riddled with the speaker’s own insecurities, projections, or preferences. It is not rooted in truth. Instead, it’s often rooted in someone else’s warped perspective.

I believe we have to be very specific about the perspectives we entertain. The rule of thumb should be to take what resonates and empowers you and your situation and leave what doesn’t.

If you are feeling like you are unworthy because you are divorced with children, you have most likely fed yourself with negative stories via podcast, articles, social media, and YouTube videos pertaining to your situation and have adopted the idea that you’re not worthy or desired.

This has caused you to develop a false, negative feminine identity around being divorced with children. This is detrimental to your love life because your identity controls your behaviors, what you think is possible for you, how you speak to yourself and see yourself, and the options you allow yourself to have in life.

If your identity is limited and negative, your love life will mirror this. This is why feminine identity is the first thing I work on with clients.

So let’s get into how I help clients who are divorced with children shift their feminine identity into something that supports the love she desires without limits.

One way I work with my clients to solve this is to first deconstruct common beliefs that they are holding onto and then we work to shift her feminine identity into something that supports the love she desires without limits.

So let’s begin by deconstructing 3 main arguments that I often see that make divorced women with children feel unworthy.

#1 A man can never love children that are not his own.

Men adopt children all the time and love them very much. Biologically they are not his but he loves them as they are. Some men absolutely have the capacity for this. You can be with a man that has the capacity for this.

#2. Men don’t want a woman who has already been married.

This is a mere preference. You’ll find some men who’ll say this and others who won’t mind. It is not a set in stone truth. The ones who prefer women who were never married are just not right for you and that’s okay.

#3. Men believe that divorced women with children are “tarnished” in some way.

Yes, there are men who hold this perspective just as there are some women who actually are destroyed mentally, emotionally, or in other ways by their previous marriage.

There are also men who do not hold this perspective and instead are interested in getting to know a woman before making a judgment. Just as there are women who have significantly improved themselves as a result of their previous marriage and who are as happy, healthy, and satisfied as ever.

Now that we have deconstructed a few common beliefs that may have been holding you back, let’s form a new self concept (feminine identity) surrounding being divorced with children.

Working with my clients, we do this through reframing their feminine identity and then working to feed that identity with supporting evidence.

In other words, we look at what identity she is holding in regards to being divorced with children and then we rework that identity into something that actually fits what she is desiring to experience.

Let’s review a simple example of this!

A woman who comes to work with me that believes she is unworthy or undesired because she is divorced with children will hold a false feminine identity similar to:

“Because I am divorced with children, my options of men are very limited and I am not as desired. In many ways, I don’t feel like I truly deserve the love I really desire because of it.”

Holding this type of feminine identity around being divorced with children will always keep her in a settling position where she’ll never really be happy nor will ever have the love life she really craves.

So we work on reframing that into something else that actually fits what she desires, like:

“In this stage of my life, quality men and quality love is available to me and I deserve it. ”

It is important to note that the re-framed identity must be something that actually clicks or resonates with the woman.

You can be sure that something clicks when it feels freeing to you.

The next thing you want to do is actually feed your mind with what you desire.

The issue before was that you kept feeding your mind with podcasts, articles, and YouTube videos telling you that divorced women with children were less desirable.

Now, switch that around.

Feed your mind with media that actually shows the opposite of that. Find stories of women who found the love of their life after being divorced and having children. Watch movies that convey this. Listen to music that conveys it. Maybe even surround yourself with women who were once divorced with children who are now happily and healthily married.

Feed your mind with what you want and literally ignore everything else that goes against that.

This is a very important step that you need to take as this will build your faith and self confidence about what is possible for you.

The last step is to collect supporting evidence in your own life for your new feminine identity.

Now that you have created a new feminine identity that clicks with you and have been feeding your mind with media that actually showcases what you desire, you can now begin collecting supporting evidence in your own life that your feminine identity is actually true.

You see, it does nothing just to change the feminine identity and leave it at that. If this is done, you will eventually revert right back to your old identity.

So to resolve this, I teach my clients to go into their everyday lives and find evidence that their new reframed feminine identity is actually true.

And at the end of every day or week, they will write down all the evidence from the day/week that proved that new identity true.

Let’s say in this case a woman has opened herself to dating in the last few weeks.

In the example where her new reframed identity is:

“In this stage of my life (divorced with children), quality men and quality love is available to me and I deserve it. ”

While going through her week, she intentionally takes note of anything that affirms her new re-framed identity. Examples of what she could jot down are as follows:

• Today I went on a date with a man that had no problems with me having children. He initiated plans to meet again next week.

• I no longer feel hesitant to reveal that I am divorced and that I have children to a man that I am getting to know. They have all been quite supportive actually.

• I was speaking to a male coworker today who asked me out on a date. He knows that I am divorced with children and that is no issue for him.

No matter how small the interaction is, she is encouraged to write them all down at the end of the day/week. This feeds her new identity more and more until she begins to believe it.

It doesn’t take long to actually begin believing the new identity when you have so much evidence to back it up.

Following these instructions closely, a woman would, in no time, have a completely different outlook on her situation and the love that is possible for her.

Her love life would improve as she would begin feeling worthy, desired, and no longer limited by a false, negative feminine identity.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine identity is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on

• increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

• feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards

• attracting experiences with men that match your standards

• identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love

• resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

• and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment.

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment. [$5,555]

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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